“26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil. 28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. 29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:26-29).

     Anger is not a bad thing. It is a defense mechanism built into our psyche that warns us against threats to us physically, emotionally, or spiritually. However, anger is an emotional response to a perceived danger or a perceived threat that we need to learn to control. The unwillingness to controlled anger can lead us into enormously selfish responses to perceived dangers or a perceived threats. Spiritual people learn what is necessary to keep all emotions under the control of the Spirit of God as directed by the Word of God.

     In Ephesians chapters four, five and six, God instructs believers about the intricacies of what it means to walk in the Spirit. He begins this instruction with an all encompassing statement:

“1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, 2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; 3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3).

     From this point forward, through the end of the epistle, He gives specific instruction with tangible details of what it means to walk in the Spirit. Just before this, He instructs us about the responsibilities of our Christian walk in various roles and relationships, He interjects a dramatic statement about our responsibility in our personal relationship with the Holy Spirit. This statement is the springboard for His instruction regarding all other relationships.

“30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:30-32).

     Most Christians seldom consider that the way we live can grieve the Spirit of God. When we fail to do what verses 31 and 32 say (as well as chapter five and chapter six), we touch the heart of God in a way that brings Him great grief. One aspect of the fall of mankind in sin is that we have lost touch with the heart of God. We are amazed at all His wonderful attributes. We wonder at the holiness of God. We are overwhelmed at His capacity to love such wretched creatures like ourselves. We stand in awe of His power. We fall at His feet amazed at His grace. Yet, we have lost touch with the heart of God.

     It appears that there is one attribute of God we seldom consider. God grieves when His children live selfishly. I wonder how many times my life has brought tears to God’s eyes. I wonder how many times my life has broken His heart and grieved Him in His Spirit.

     Seldom do children realize the pain they cause their parents when they choose to live selfishly. Selfish people cannot see the grief they cause in the lives of others. Doing and getting what they want is so important, they are blinded to the pain it causes to others. Even when they are aware of the grief they cause, they do not consider that causing grief is important. Another person’s pain is inconsequential compared to getting their own way or what they want.

Be Honest!
(Ephesians 4:25)

Keep Current!
(Ephesians 4:26-27)

Attack the Problem, Not the Person!
(Ephesians 4:29)

Act, Don’t React!
(Ephesians 4:30-31)

     Although God’s emotions are never out of control, nonetheless they exist. Yes, God has feelings too. Our lives can bring Him joy or grief. When we walk in the Spirit in obedience to our heavenly Father’s will, we bring Him joy and are a blessing to Him. When we do not, we bring Him grief. How we ACT towards people we disagree with, or who lovingly seek to rebuke or reprove us, will be a very sure and accurate spiritual portrait of WHAT we are as a Christian.

     The Word of God speaks often of the Scorner. He is a despicable twit. The Scorner will refuse to forgive the person he holds in contempt regardless of how much that person humbles himself before the Scorner or how diligently he seeks resolution with the Scorner. The Scorner may give an outward show of resolution to the arbitrator, but will eventually find another issue to continue his diatribe against the person he holds in contempt. This is a sure way of knowing you are dealing with a Scorner.

     This is a description of a carnal nature waging war (James 4:2-3). It involves the age old battle that began back in the Garden of Eden. It is the battle for the Lordship of the will. The Scorner fights for self-gratification in order to get his own way. It is a battle for control and leadership. It is just a giant ego trip to nowhere. Even if he wins, he loses. It is a no win situation. The Scorner loses. The person he attacks loses. The local church loses, but most of all, the cause of Christ loses.

     Humble spirituality is always more concerned about righteousness and reconciliation rather then fault-finding. Carnality focuses on fault-finding. In the extreme sense of fault-finding, this is a classic symptom of the Scorner.

     In James 3:18, godly wisdom in this area is shown by the motivational desire to make peace, not wage war.

     It is important to understand the make-up of the local church. Is the local church made up ONLY of mature Christians who know how to resolve problems and handle conflict? Hardly, it is made up of believers at all levels of spiritual growth. There are essentially five basic levels of spiritual maturity in any local church.

1. It is made up of BABBLING BABIES who need constant attention. They need to be bottle fed and have their diapers changed (they make a lot of messes).

2. It is made up of TEMPER TANTRUM THROWING TODDLERS who throw themselves down and throw a fit to try and get their way. Do not let them get by with it.

3. It is made up of ADULATING ADOLESCENTS who constantly struggle with the transitions between knowledge and application, between preaching and practice, who always seem to think they know more than they know and who think more highly of themselves than they ought. It is at this level of spiritual growth that many Christians have major problems with their spiritual authorities (as pastors).

4. It is made up of YOUNG ADULTS, just starting to grow strong in development of their own personal values and priorities and who are beginning to reproduce through personal evangelism.

5. It is made up of MATURE CHRISTIANS, who, for the most part, are faithful in their service and discipleship ministry, but occasionally fall back into one of their childhood practices.

     These are the kinds of people the local church is made up of. Therefore, we should expect personal conflict in the local church and learn to resolve it Scripturally. If we have a disagreement with a brother or sister in Christ, we should judge our own motives first by asking a few questions of ourselves.

1. Are we doing everything in our power to practically and tangibly show love to that person?

2. Are we working to help overcome a fault we perceive to be there or do we just condemn him/her for it?

3. Are we doing everything WE can to promote him/her in his/her cause for Christ and to help him/her succeed in his ministry for Christ or are we undermining that ministry and destroying his/her credibility?

     What is the core problem when one genuine Christian does not promote another genuine Christian in his/her cause for Christ? If you are unwilling to resolve a problem with another Christian, you have a serious spiritual blindness to your own unforgiving spirit and lack of love!

“Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him” (I John 5:1).

Philippians 2:1-4: these verses center on the purpose revealed in Philippians 1:27.

“Only let your conversation {the way you live your life} be as it becometh {the idea is to decorate or adorn} the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel” (Philippians 1:27).

“1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, 2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” (Philippians 2:1-4).

     The word “becometh” in Philippians 1:27 means to adorn. The way we live with each other and treat each other ought to ADORN the gospel of Christ and prove its ability to change lives. We are to “strive together,” not against each other, “for the faith of the gospel,” not in order to get our way.

     Philippians 2:1 is a fourfold ground of appeal to resolve differences and be unified in purpose (the four “if’s”).

1. “Consolation in Christ” means an exhortation. It comes as a command of Christ.

2. We should be constrained by love to do what is right.

3. We should be spiritually empowered by co-operation (fellowship) of the Spirit of God.

4. We should be motivated by affectionate sympathy, rather than hateful selfishness.

     What does this all add up to? We cannot possibly grasp the eternal consequences of two Christians quarreling or warring. We cannot understand the eternal consequences of the loss of even one soul due to our negative influence or terrible example. We cannot comprehend the domino effect it might have on the succeeding generations of one person’s life.

     Jonah was a man of contempt. Look at the mess that being a Scorner got him into. God had to put Jonah into a pile of fish vomit before Jonah really saw how disgusting his life really was. Dealing with the Scorner requires tough love and a firm hand.